Christmas Cheer?

I love love love Christmas.  However.  This year I am not in the Christmas spirit at all.  It has made me very sad.  I feel like I've been swamped in work, classes, family and emotionally.  It hasn't been ok at all.  I'm hoping that next year my Christmas spirit will return.  Until next year then.

Modern Day Sodom and Gomorrah?

I'm pretty damned liberal.  I don't care who anyone dates or marries as long as they are happy.  I don't care if your hair is purple or green or blonde, I don't care if you have tattoos and piercings, I don't care about your religion or political views.

That being said: I think that everyone needs to know the situation they are walking into and behave correspondingly.  I wouldn't go for a job interview in a short skirt and tank top for instance.  I wouldn't attend a college class in that outfit either.  Yet young people are doing it every day.  C'mon, guys, you have common sense, I've seen it!  I don't care if you're 16 or 46, think about what you're doing and who could possibly see you or hear you and behave accordingly.  Sure, you can say 'I'm expressing my individuality'.  You can't live on individuality.  Seriously.  You'll starve to death in the freezing cold winter.  You need a job, you need an education.  If you feel that strongly about showing your individuality, go into a field where it's embraced.  Honestly, with what I do and where I work - I have to look a certain way.  I don't really care as I care more about what I do than how I look.  Once you speak to me, my individuality shows through.  You can't hide that. 

Just take a minute and think about how much farther you'll travel (and faster too!) if you just quit rebelling quite so hard and be confident in who you really are.

The evolution of my man

My husband has always been, as I say, a "manly man".  He would drink beer, cuss, do stupid crap with 'the guys' and wasn't about to associate with the 'homos'.  He has held that stance for a long time. Oh, he doesn't drink beer anymore and rarely does stupid crap with 'the guys' - he's matured.  But it wasn't until this weekend that I pronounce him EVOLVED.

I informed him of New York's voting to legalize same sex marriage and he said, "Good for them."  Now 14 years ago I would have fallen over from shock.  Hell, 3 years ago I would have!  But see, he's a changed man and all it really took was two girls and a baby. :)

My friend Erin moved near us and I wanted him and my kids to get to know her and her family.  She and her partner Lisa moved just about 8 minutes from us and they brought with them their darling baby.  He was hesitant at first, but the baby won him over first and now he just loves the girls.  They've opened his eyes to the fact that they are just as in love as we are and it's a shame that they can't legalize it and have those little extras like shared health insurance and both be legal parents to the baby.

I pronounce my man EVOLVED and it made me fall even more in love with him.  Oh happy day!

Bad Zombie!

Bloggers note:  the phrases "Jon Doe" and "JD" are because you can't just go posting people's names on blogs when you want to say truthful things about them.  Just isn't done, you know....

Why do people always think that they can make things better for themselves by throwing innocent people under the bus?

I had a friend...well, I was wrong.  I didn't have a friend.  I had an acquaintance who led me to believe that we were friends.  We're going to call this friend Jon Doe.   I did everything in my power to help Jon Doe and gave JD advice on how NOT to screw up and end up somewhere they didn't want to be.  Did JD listen?  Absolutely not.  I wasn't surprised over that part.  People tend to ask for advice and never take it because they think they know more that the person they asked for advice.  They generally don't.  Which is why they are asking for advice.

What did the Jon Doe do?  JD did something illegal and got into trouble for it.  I was still willing to support and defend JD.  So I convinced people to go a little easy on JD on MY WORD.  Yes, that is a wonderful thing to be able to do for someone.  However, after I did that, JD turned around and told the people that trusted MY WORD that I was doing illegal things.  Perhaps JD thought that it was going to help keep JD's own stuff in order and out of trouble by lying.  I can't claim to know anyone else's thoughts....but it sounds right to me.  Did it work?  Not really.  Those involved are now sorry that they helped out JD.  Will any of them ever help Jon Doe again?  Nope, never.

The really sad part?  Jon Doe is in the process of doing the same thing to other people and I can't stop JD or help the people JD is hurting. Why you ask?  Because apparently Jon Doe is an artist, the people involved think JD is amazing and selfless and a victim.  The only victims here are the ones falling for Jon Doe's line of crap.  The world is a sad, sad place sometimes.  One bad zombie can spoil it for everyone.

Stand by Me

 Today I want you all to go check out this link:

http://playingforchange.com/

I discovered it about 3 or 4 years ago and visit it regularly - it's amazing what music can do!  My favorite song?  The first one - Stand by Me.


Go check it out and let me know your thoughts on it.

Top 10 Ways to Flub Your Interview!

I recently sat on an interviewing committee and wow!  I have seen some ridiculous things done.  Let's learn from others mistakes, shall we?

The Do NOTS of interviewing:

1 - Text under the table while interviewing.  Seriously.  Do you think we don't know what you're doing?  Even if your phone is silent, we saw you pull it out and sit it on your lap and we see you texting.  Way to go!

2 -Tell us how you waste time at work doing everything but work.  This is helpful for me to know.  Now I want to call your current employer so that they know too.

3 - Research the group you're interviewing with.  That way, when we ask what new project you think we should get involved with - you can tell us all the stuff we're already doing!  That's impressive!

4 - Tell us how you will go over your bosses head to get things done that you think are important, whether they approve or not.  Yep, that's what we're looking for, someone with a personal agenda who doesn't know how to work on a team and will cause trouble in the group.

5 - Point out how the other candidates haven't done the things you've done, even though you don't know who else is interviewing.  I mean, you've made an educated guess on how lazy and stupid they are, right?  That's got to count for something.

6 - Tell us incorrect information about the group you're involved in.  I mean, no one on the committee is going to know anyone you currently are working/volunteering for, right?

7 - Dress like you're hanging out at home or headed for a workout.  Seriously, what says "this is important to me" more than coming to an interview in ripped up jeans, a tee or sweats more?

8 - Talk incessantly about your ideas.  Nope, we don't have a list of questions for you, go ahead, just talk.  We won't cut you off.  The next interviewee will.

9 - Call us by the wrong name...a lot.  That really works for all of us.  If you don't remember a name or can't pronounce it, either don't use it or ask to have it repeated.  We don't expect you to remember our names right now, there's a lot going on.  But if you mispronounce my name 5 times in one interview, I'll remember you.  Not fondly, but I'll remember you.

10- Use sexual innuendo.  That really gets our attention.  We will definitely want you on our team.  No, not really - see, that was sarcasm.

BE YOU!

I'm at a time in my life when I can feel perfectly free to be ME.  Yes, everyone should feel free to be themselves their entire lives, but for some reason, as a teen or young adult, people will try to tell you how you should be.

My parents used to try to make me go outside to play.  They would actually lock me out of the house.  Well, guess what?  I'm stubborn and unless I wanted to do it, I wasn't doing it.  All they did was create a wall against the outdoors in me.  Once I moved out and was on my own, I discovered that I love to play games outside and ride bikes and camp and raft/canoe...all sorts of things.  But their insistence on it made me rebel.

My college roommate hated that the majority of my friends were male.  She thought it made me look like a whore.  Please.  Men and women can honestly be friends without sex entering into it.  I've had many male friends and chances are I was trying to help them fix their relationships and talk them out of being stupid, not trying to sleep with them.  Ewwwww! 


I was criticized for 'job hopping' by someone who had the same job for over 25 years and would retire from that same job.  I really hope that she loved what she was doing and had been happy that entire time.  Me, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do.  I mean, I knew what I was good at, but didn't know how I could implement it in a job.  I'm good at being in charge, organising and getting people involved.  It took a long time, but finally someone else saw my talents and here I am!  I love my job and wouldn't trade it for anything - I've worked at my current place of employment for almost 10 years now - that's amazing for me - I never worked anywhere more than a couple years before.

People often say to me 'When are you going to grow up and listen to other kinds of music?'  What?!  I listen to all kinds of music, I just prefer punk.  I'm sure I don't LOOK like I listen to punk, but let me tell you a secret kiddies...you can't tell what people are like by looking at them.  I have a goth/punk soul and it shines.  I look the way I do so that I can work where I love to work...but that doesn't mean I have to be boring or listen to what others listen to.  I adore the Fratellis and Ramones and Violent Femmes.  If possible, I would wear all black and dye my hair funky colors and cut it all weird.  But I can't.  That doesn't change who I am.

Delayed by a train

I am a naturally prompt person.  I hate to walk in somewhere late or just make it in time.  I like to be 5-10 minutes early for everything.  I can't figure out if it is a symptom of where I work, but NO ONE is ever on time for anything.  It makes me crazy.  You know what I decided to do?

When I'm running the meeting, event or activity...I start on time.  If you come in late, too bad for you, I'm not stopping to 'catch you up'.  Come in quietly, pick up your packet and sit down.  Do not interrupt to say why you were late - I don't care.  Unless there's a zombie apocalypse or a herd of stampeding hippos, I really don't see a reason for you being late without notice.  Don't ask the people around you to tell you what's going on either, now they can't hear what's going on.

I mean, it's simple.  Be on time.  How hard is that?

My roommate in college was habitually late.  I always believed (and still do) that it's because nothing bad had ever happened to her because of being late.  She would go to class at least 5 minutes past the time it started and sometimes as much as 30 minutes after.  The professors never said anything to her, just let her sign in and gave her the assignments and took her papers.  I know some professors now lock the door at the start of class and you can't come in.  Good for them!  She showed up at my wedding late - she just had time to get ready before we had to walk down the aisle.  Oh yeah, she showed up at the bridal shower late too...and she had the cake. *rolls eyes*  Then she got a full time job.  She was always late and her bosses called her on it.  She said that when she got caught in traffic, she couldn't let them know she was going to be late.  So they bought her a cellphone...and paid for it.  Apparently she assumed that it was permission to be late ALL the time, because that's what happened.  She would leave later, get caught in more traffic and arrive later.  But it was okay because she called.  The last I knew, she was still running late, I don't know because she's so far behind.  I assume at this point that she's approximately 5 years behind schedule.

Morale of the story?  If you're coming to MY meeting, be on time or I'll leave YOU behind.

Read the Label!!

 "We are not soup cans, we do not need labels."  I agree.  Why does everyone insist on trying to label everyone else?

I mean, does it make it so if you label me  'corporate sellout'?  What about 'goth'?  Is that going to define who I am?  I don't think so.  I've been labeled a lot of things in my life and most of them were so wrong it's ridiculous.  Do you want to know who I am?  Get to know me first.  I have met some of the most interesting people I know by just talking to them before I decide for myself who they are.

Some of the labels I've gotten and the reasoning (as much as I can figure out):

1 - 'stuck up' - because I was super shy and didn't talk to people
2 - 'bookworm' - because I like to read.  Seriously, have you tried it?!
3 - 'prep' - I happen to think polo shirts are an acceptable way to dress down at work without breaking out the tee's
4 - 'know-it-all' - because I graduated from college.  Honest to gosh, that's what he said!
5 - 'unstable worker' - because I had switched jobs frequently figuring out what I wanted to do
6 - 'townie' - I had lived in the college town long enough after college to be one


There have been many, many labels - some good, some bad and some just plain ugly.  None of them are ME.  Mostly labels are just inappropriate, unfair, wrong and hurtful. 

So, who am I?  I'm a voracious reader, a family person, intensely loyal, multi-tasker, punk-rock music listener, a fan of art and handmade items, a dreamer, a wisher on stars, a blogger, an administrator, a list maker, a mother, a wife, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a shoulder to cry on, whimsical, off-beat sense of humor, fan of all things British, a collector of trivia, there's so much more that I could put here.

You will notice that nowhere in that list are what kinds of clothes I wear, what color I am, what religion I am, what my sexual orientation is or what my hair/makeup is like.  Those things don't make me who I am.  People are always amazed to meet me and then to stop by my office and hear my music.  One woman said, as she walked in, "Are you seriously listening to ICP?"  "Yes, yes I am", I responded.  She just walked away looking confused.  So that day it was ICP, maybe tomorrow it will be the Beatles...or the Ramones...or Hank Williams Jr.  It doesn't matter - I can like them all - they all live together in my files.

Fun with Food

I have to start with saying that I do not find that when faced with eating a meal, that it is strange to eat all the sides before the main dish.  Everyone knows that if I am given, for example, a burger and fries; that I will eat all the fries first.  It's not weird, it's perfectly normal.

I don't have an issues with my food mixing, I am perfectly happy to mix potatoes and corn.  I don't care if my food touches, the more the merrier!  I just prefer to eat my sides FIRST and ALONE. 

I don't condemn anyone for eating a bite of each side in turn...live and let live, eh?

They bury you in suits

That's what I said to my friend today when he asked if wearing a suit was acceptable for the function he was going to attend. 

See, that might seem...rude...but he was doing something that I was trying to talk him out of.  My point was this: what you're doing is not acceptable and you know it, there will be repercussions and they will pretty much bury you.  He understood and made his own decision.  That's what life is all about. 

You can offer advice, you can offer help...but you can't change anyone but yourself.