I work well with a team. I also work well on my own, You wanna know how I don't work well? Under a manager who insists they are all about supporting you and giving you freedom to do your job, but then they micromanage every facet of your job.
For the love of sanity, do not micromanage people. If you think you don't, double check yourself. Please. It makes people miserable.
If your employee is working on a project, don't work on the same project and then tell them that while their ideas are lovely, you think yours will work out better....mostly because you did not give them all the information to do a good job.
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
Monday, June 2, 2014
It's All In Your Head
I feel like I'm slowly coming apart. Not just physically, not just mentally. Everything, very very slowly, all at once.
I've struggled with what I believe is depression for a long time. I often feel completely invisible. If I change something, for example my hair, barely anyone says anything to me - it's like no one remembers what I look like or what I like or anything. This past year has been difficult. I cry a lot, randomly. I feel sad and alone a lot. I went to a counselor/therapist two different times, once for a couple months, once for several months. I don't think she really listened either. She seemed to think that I'm just another middle aged woman having trouble letting go of a grown child and that if I just make some new friends and find some new activities, I'll be fine. I finally said what I thought she wanted to hear and she told me that I was fine, but if need be, I can always make another appointment. That's hardly likely. Now I feel even more invisible than before!
I've been in some sort of physical pain since I was a teenager, so approximately 30 years. Doctor after doctor has told me that there isn't anything wrong with me at all. I spent seven years in terrible pain with my shoulder, barely able to move it and crying every morning with the pain before I found a doctor that diagnosed me (partially right). The pain eased up for quite some time. I finally had surgery and feel much better. I was warned that I may need surgery again as it preparing to tear completely. But that's ok, at least I know. I've had headaches since I was in 6th grade. My mom told me to take an aspirin and 'knock it off'. When my brother complained about headaches, she took him to the doctor and he was diagnosed with migraines and received medication. I've learned how to deal with mine, that's what I do. :) About 14 years ago, I saw a rheumatologist to see if my pain was related to RA (several close relatives have it). He didn't do any tests, simply put his hand on my joints as I moved them and announced that I have 'plain old arthritis' and offered me darvocet. No.
Right now I have my left index finger that is swollen and stiff and I can't move it in the morning. My right wrist is swelling and I can't put pressure on my wrist or hand or it feels like bones are cracking. My right foot feels the same way, minus the swelling. My lower left back feels like possibly a pulled muscles, but I'm not sure - I haven't been able to bend over to do anything without pain for over a month. I have a doctors appointment on June 10th, so hopefully I'll get some answers.
I've struggled with what I believe is depression for a long time. I often feel completely invisible. If I change something, for example my hair, barely anyone says anything to me - it's like no one remembers what I look like or what I like or anything. This past year has been difficult. I cry a lot, randomly. I feel sad and alone a lot. I went to a counselor/therapist two different times, once for a couple months, once for several months. I don't think she really listened either. She seemed to think that I'm just another middle aged woman having trouble letting go of a grown child and that if I just make some new friends and find some new activities, I'll be fine. I finally said what I thought she wanted to hear and she told me that I was fine, but if need be, I can always make another appointment. That's hardly likely. Now I feel even more invisible than before!
I've been in some sort of physical pain since I was a teenager, so approximately 30 years. Doctor after doctor has told me that there isn't anything wrong with me at all. I spent seven years in terrible pain with my shoulder, barely able to move it and crying every morning with the pain before I found a doctor that diagnosed me (partially right). The pain eased up for quite some time. I finally had surgery and feel much better. I was warned that I may need surgery again as it preparing to tear completely. But that's ok, at least I know. I've had headaches since I was in 6th grade. My mom told me to take an aspirin and 'knock it off'. When my brother complained about headaches, she took him to the doctor and he was diagnosed with migraines and received medication. I've learned how to deal with mine, that's what I do. :) About 14 years ago, I saw a rheumatologist to see if my pain was related to RA (several close relatives have it). He didn't do any tests, simply put his hand on my joints as I moved them and announced that I have 'plain old arthritis' and offered me darvocet. No.
Right now I have my left index finger that is swollen and stiff and I can't move it in the morning. My right wrist is swelling and I can't put pressure on my wrist or hand or it feels like bones are cracking. My right foot feels the same way, minus the swelling. My lower left back feels like possibly a pulled muscles, but I'm not sure - I haven't been able to bend over to do anything without pain for over a month. I have a doctors appointment on June 10th, so hopefully I'll get some answers.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Christmas Cheer?
I love love love Christmas. However. This year I am not in the Christmas spirit at all. It has made me very sad. I feel like I've been swamped in work, classes, family and emotionally. It hasn't been ok at all. I'm hoping that next year my Christmas spirit will return. Until next year then.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Modern Day Sodom and Gomorrah?
I'm pretty damned liberal. I don't care who anyone dates or marries as long as they are happy. I don't care if your hair is purple or green or blonde, I don't care if you have tattoos and piercings, I don't care about your religion or political views.
That being said: I think that everyone needs to know the situation they are walking into and behave correspondingly. I wouldn't go for a job interview in a short skirt and tank top for instance. I wouldn't attend a college class in that outfit either. Yet young people are doing it every day. C'mon, guys, you have common sense, I've seen it! I don't care if you're 16 or 46, think about what you're doing and who could possibly see you or hear you and behave accordingly. Sure, you can say 'I'm expressing my individuality'. You can't live on individuality. Seriously. You'll starve to death in the freezing cold winter. You need a job, you need an education. If you feel that strongly about showing your individuality, go into a field where it's embraced. Honestly, with what I do and where I work - I have to look a certain way. I don't really care as I care more about what I do than how I look. Once you speak to me, my individuality shows through. You can't hide that.
Just take a minute and think about how much farther you'll travel (and faster too!) if you just quit rebelling quite so hard and be confident in who you really are.
That being said: I think that everyone needs to know the situation they are walking into and behave correspondingly. I wouldn't go for a job interview in a short skirt and tank top for instance. I wouldn't attend a college class in that outfit either. Yet young people are doing it every day. C'mon, guys, you have common sense, I've seen it! I don't care if you're 16 or 46, think about what you're doing and who could possibly see you or hear you and behave accordingly. Sure, you can say 'I'm expressing my individuality'. You can't live on individuality. Seriously. You'll starve to death in the freezing cold winter. You need a job, you need an education. If you feel that strongly about showing your individuality, go into a field where it's embraced. Honestly, with what I do and where I work - I have to look a certain way. I don't really care as I care more about what I do than how I look. Once you speak to me, my individuality shows through. You can't hide that.
Just take a minute and think about how much farther you'll travel (and faster too!) if you just quit rebelling quite so hard and be confident in who you really are.
Monday, June 27, 2011
The evolution of my man
My husband has always been, as I say, a "manly man". He would drink beer, cuss, do stupid crap with 'the guys' and wasn't about to associate with the 'homos'. He has held that stance for a long time. Oh, he doesn't drink beer anymore and rarely does stupid crap with 'the guys' - he's matured. But it wasn't until this weekend that I pronounce him EVOLVED.
I informed him of New York's voting to legalize same sex marriage and he said, "Good for them." Now 14 years ago I would have fallen over from shock. Hell, 3 years ago I would have! But see, he's a changed man and all it really took was two girls and a baby. :)
My friend Erin moved near us and I wanted him and my kids to get to know her and her family. She and her partner Lisa moved just about 8 minutes from us and they brought with them their darling baby. He was hesitant at first, but the baby won him over first and now he just loves the girls. They've opened his eyes to the fact that they are just as in love as we are and it's a shame that they can't legalize it and have those little extras like shared health insurance and both be legal parents to the baby.
I pronounce my man EVOLVED and it made me fall even more in love with him. Oh happy day!
I informed him of New York's voting to legalize same sex marriage and he said, "Good for them." Now 14 years ago I would have fallen over from shock. Hell, 3 years ago I would have! But see, he's a changed man and all it really took was two girls and a baby. :)
My friend Erin moved near us and I wanted him and my kids to get to know her and her family. She and her partner Lisa moved just about 8 minutes from us and they brought with them their darling baby. He was hesitant at first, but the baby won him over first and now he just loves the girls. They've opened his eyes to the fact that they are just as in love as we are and it's a shame that they can't legalize it and have those little extras like shared health insurance and both be legal parents to the baby.
I pronounce my man EVOLVED and it made me fall even more in love with him. Oh happy day!
Friday, June 10, 2011
Bad Zombie!
Bloggers note: the phrases "Jon Doe" and "JD" are because you can't just go posting people's names on blogs when you want to say truthful things about them. Just isn't done, you know....
Why do people always think that they can make things better for themselves by throwing innocent people under the bus?
I had a friend...well, I was wrong. I didn't have a friend. I had an acquaintance who led me to believe that we were friends. We're going to call this friend Jon Doe. I did everything in my power to help Jon Doe and gave JD advice on how NOT to screw up and end up somewhere they didn't want to be. Did JD listen? Absolutely not. I wasn't surprised over that part. People tend to ask for advice and never take it because they think they know more that the person they asked for advice. They generally don't. Which is why they are asking for advice.
What did the Jon Doe do? JD did something illegal and got into trouble for it. I was still willing to support and defend JD. So I convinced people to go a little easy on JD on MY WORD. Yes, that is a wonderful thing to be able to do for someone. However, after I did that, JD turned around and told the people that trusted MY WORD that I was doing illegal things. Perhaps JD thought that it was going to help keep JD's own stuff in order and out of trouble by lying. I can't claim to know anyone else's thoughts....but it sounds right to me. Did it work? Not really. Those involved are now sorry that they helped out JD. Will any of them ever help Jon Doe again? Nope, never.
The really sad part? Jon Doe is in the process of doing the same thing to other people and I can't stop JD or help the people JD is hurting. Why you ask? Because apparently Jon Doe is an artist, the people involved think JD is amazing and selfless and a victim. The only victims here are the ones falling for Jon Doe's line of crap. The world is a sad, sad place sometimes. One bad zombie can spoil it for everyone.
Why do people always think that they can make things better for themselves by throwing innocent people under the bus?
I had a friend...well, I was wrong. I didn't have a friend. I had an acquaintance who led me to believe that we were friends. We're going to call this friend Jon Doe. I did everything in my power to help Jon Doe and gave JD advice on how NOT to screw up and end up somewhere they didn't want to be. Did JD listen? Absolutely not. I wasn't surprised over that part. People tend to ask for advice and never take it because they think they know more that the person they asked for advice. They generally don't. Which is why they are asking for advice.
What did the Jon Doe do? JD did something illegal and got into trouble for it. I was still willing to support and defend JD. So I convinced people to go a little easy on JD on MY WORD. Yes, that is a wonderful thing to be able to do for someone. However, after I did that, JD turned around and told the people that trusted MY WORD that I was doing illegal things. Perhaps JD thought that it was going to help keep JD's own stuff in order and out of trouble by lying. I can't claim to know anyone else's thoughts....but it sounds right to me. Did it work? Not really. Those involved are now sorry that they helped out JD. Will any of them ever help Jon Doe again? Nope, never.
The really sad part? Jon Doe is in the process of doing the same thing to other people and I can't stop JD or help the people JD is hurting. Why you ask? Because apparently Jon Doe is an artist, the people involved think JD is amazing and selfless and a victim. The only victims here are the ones falling for Jon Doe's line of crap. The world is a sad, sad place sometimes. One bad zombie can spoil it for everyone.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Stand by Me
Today I want you all to go check out this link:
http://playingforchange.com/
I discovered it about 3 or 4 years ago and visit it regularly - it's amazing what music can do! My favorite song? The first one - Stand by Me.
Go check it out and let me know your thoughts on it.
http://playingforchange.com/
I discovered it about 3 or 4 years ago and visit it regularly - it's amazing what music can do! My favorite song? The first one - Stand by Me.
Go check it out and let me know your thoughts on it.
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